A problem with “H”

Many uneducated English people make mistakes with the letter “h”. They often leave it out at the beginning of words, saying: ”at” for “hat”, “oney” for “honey” and so on.

Sometimes, too, they pronounce an “h” where none exists, in such words as: easy, insect, owner, which become heasy, hinsect, howner.

Misunderstandings may arise from such mistakes in speech, as the following story shows:

Miss Miller, a typist, was going home to her lodgings from the office where she worked. She was in a merry mood because the manager had promised her an increase of salary and all the other clerks had congratulated her.

Success arouses the appetite and Miss Miller entered a fried fish shop and bought a large portion of fish and chips for her supper. By the time she got home, however, the food had got cold, so she handed it to her landlady, saying:

“Will you heat this up for supper, please, Mrs. Peck?”

“Oh, certainly Miss”, said Mrs. Peck with a smile. Miss Miller smiled too and spent the next hour reading a novel and thinking of the pleasure which awaited her.

At last Mrs. Peck came into the room, carrying a knife and fork, a plate, a glass, a cheese-dish, some bread and some radishes on a tray. This was Miss Miller’s usual supper, but not what she had been expecting that whole evening. As Mrs. Peck set the tray on the table Miss Miller reminded her of the fish and chips.

“You said I was to heat them up”, said Mrs. Peck naively.

“Thank you very much. They were excellent!”


Find the words that mean:
1. wait for
2. look forward to
3. stimulate, provoke, excite
4. omit, skip
5. give

6. happy, cheerful  

7. et cetera 

8. amplify, enlarge, magnify, raise
9. accommodation
10. happen


Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings! It was a ________________________.

2. Good evening sir! What a ___________________ to see you here.

3. I’ll have the chicken for the main ___________________.

4. If you ____________________ a “k” from the word “know”, you will get the word “now”.

5. With John here, you never know what will happen ___________________.

6. I really want this car. __________________ it costs too much and I can’t buy it.

7. Hello Mr Simpson. We have been _________________ you.

8. If the sign says Do Not __________________, it means that you should keep out of that place.

9. I won’t __________________ you to do your homework this time. If you want to do it OK, if you don’t want to do it – well, that’s your problem.

10. Tell me the ________________ truth! Don’t lie to me this time.

Quiz
1. What did Merlin Monroe like wearing the most?

 a) high-heeled shoes b) diamonds c) jeans

2. The least people are killed every year 

 a) in plane crashes b) by donkeys c) by mosquitoes

3. Which animal sleeps with one eye open? 

 a) lion b) mosquito c) panda d) dolphin

4. The battle of Gallipoli, where thousands of people from Australia and New Zealand, took place in:
a) Australia b) New Zealand c) Turkey d) India

5. The battle of Gallipoli took place during the: 

 a) World War I b) World War II c) Cold War

6. The main role in the film “The Brave Heart” was played by:
a) Charley Chaplin b) Harrison Ford c) Mel Gibson d) Richard Geere

7. A prize that is given each year in the US for the best film, actor etc in the film industry – Oscar is also called:
a) The Academy Award b) The Academic Award c) The Golden Palm d) The Golden Camera

8. Charlie Chaplin, one of the best actors, that has ever lived was born in
a) London b) Paris c) Rome d) New York

9. Bugs Bunny, a cartoon rabbit who likes carrots and often uses the phrase
a) "What's up, Dude?" b) "What's up, Mac?" c) "What's up, Man?" "What's up, Doc?"

10. Songs: Wild Horses, Jumping Jack Flash, It’s only Rock and Roll, are performed by:
a) The Beatles b) The Rolling Stones c) Red Hot Chilli Peppers d) Eric Clapton

11. If things are selling like hot cakes it means: 

 a) they aren’t selling well b) they are selling like crazy

12. The chief of a republic is a 

 a) president b) queen c) king d) no one

13. A small and poor country with weak government that needs help from other countries is called:
a) a banana republic b) a strawberry republic c) a chicken republic d) a carrot republic

14. “Mum went bananas when I said I was going to leave my husband” means:
a) she was sad b) she was angry and excited c) she was happy

15. An ex-husband means
a) a dead husband b) a man some woman used to be married to c) a man some woman is going to marry

16. If a couple is celebrating a golden wedding, they have been married for:
a) 20 years b) 30 years c) 40 years d) 50 years e) 60 years

17. A shotgun wedding is a wedding where
a) you have to marry someone or you’ll get shot 

b) a wedding where people carry guns
c) a fast wedding because the bride is going to have a baby


JOKES: Choose and fill in the blanks. 

I'll tell you when it's raining! 

an American 

what’s with that
pick up the pieces

very intelligent 

the fly is on vacation

Languages

A person who speaks two languages is bilingual...A person who speaks three languages is trilingual...A person who speaks four or more languages is multilingual.
What is a person who speaks one language?

_______________________
Why are you complaining?

Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. ___________________________.

She can’t help it – she’s nervous?

A nervous old lady on a bus was made even more nervous by the fact that the driver periodically took his arm out of the window. When she couldn't stand it any longer, she tapped him on the shoulder and whispered on his ear: "Young man...you keep both hands on the wheel..._________________________________ "

What help!

Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped _________________________.